stuff

xmasVideo HERE

I got an awesome down sleeping bag for xmas!!!!!! I am so excited! nothing can stop me now! January backpacking trip, here i come!

And, I got a salad spinner. Ive always wanted one, and my hubby remembered.

too cute. i love it.

Nothing quite like watching the snow fall =)

Visiting Santa!

well

i thought maybe id have a little extra money to fly to South Dakota and visit my best bud while shes on break from nursing school (GO Jen jen!!)

But, i dont. =(

maybe in the spring! we will see.

ive been enjoying some lazy days at home with the kids. OMG its so amazing.

i love it so much.

saw the black swan last night with my girls friends at the Vine. It was amazing! And the Vine is awesome! they totally redid it, and they serve you food and wine , and you sit in couches! so so so cool.

now off to andy and shawnee's to hang out. yay. love this time of year.

finally

selling car

Someday I'll have thei money to visit u

dang

its really comin down.

Lots and lots of rain.

Hopefully it turns to snow in camp connell.

Last day of antibiotics. This shit better not come back.

Well, Chris & Alyssa move tomorrow for Portland .

Going away party tonight.

now, off to do another puppet show for the kids.

i love rainy days at home with my babies more than anything in the whole wide world.

christmas

Once you get married and have kids, its near impossible to make both sides of the family happy.

And, quite frankly, I am sick of trying.

I think next year Ill just focus on making US happy.

time to start making our own damn traditions.

like... camping on christmas!

can you tell.. im dying for some nature. The arroyo del valle just isnt cutting it for me right now.

"This is the funnest Ive ever done"

Feather River Video

just curious

So, my brother is getting married next year in Costa Rica.
For some reason, , my family seems to think I will be able to make this happen.

=)

my daughter has been saving her allowance to buy our family presents. melts my heart.
=)
my mom took her shopping last night. now we have presents under the tree!
my dear girl.

high as a kite

Im fucking high as a kite right now.
no bazillions of annoying emails and orders to fill.
customers to please.
phone calls to be chipper on
no more professional voice.
no more happy photographer face. clowing around. making crabby cranky spoiled kids smile.
no more crazy brides.
no no no more.. for a few months.

guess i should get my wisdom teeth out too while im at it!

now back to what i do best..
being a MOM!

hello laundry, pile,.. ive been waiting for you old friend.
hello garden... i know im a little late on the bulbs, but I hope you will bloom in the spring.
hello vacuum .. i love you Dyson.
hello friends. I have time for you now.
helloooooo children... its craft time. its cuddle time. its happy mama time. its time to cook together. play together. BE together. take hikes by the creek, take bike rides in the park. no where to be . nothing else to do.
YOU HAVE MY UNDIVIDED ATTENTION CHILD. JUST AS YOU SHOULD.

holiday play!

Avery had his first performance yesterday at school. They sang holiday songs. It was so darling!
Here's the after party. Avery loves his coffee!! haha! dont worry! Its decaf!

hubby loves

well, Mr-has-never-called-into-work-sick-before , has been home for over a week with strep.
He finally went back today!
=( I miss him so much already!
Although we were pretty much loafs of nothingness on the couch for most of it, it was still so nice spending some much needed time together. Even if we were too sick to talk.

letter for juni

ta da!

Well, thats that! today was my very last day of holiday portraits! and my first day out of the house in a week.
I finally felt better today, but was still a little out of it. (the norco made me more creative if anything )People must think im absolutely insane. haha awww well.. I think i did ok,. lol. and the day went by so fast. Lots of cute kiddos and really nice folk! Now time to edit edit.

And, i thought it was time for a chicken update.. check out how big they are! Should be getting eggs any day now. =)

i just sit and stare at them.

Im fu&(*(*)(ing tired.

my lucky babies. surrounded by love.

daniel in the kitchen!? now thats a sight to behold!

after 10 days of antibiotics, i finally got my energy back. but.. it was temporary.

damn strep throat came back! guess its a stubborn one. And Brandon has it too. Which leaves not just ONE but, TWO absolutely helpless, cranky, sleep deprived, dehydrated people laying on the couch while our children run a muck and make our heads hurt even worse.

And of course my new shitty insurance (kaiser) gave me the runaround for two days before I could get any more meds. She actually said to me
"Maybe your throat started hurting because you found out your husband has strep?"
I wanted to punch her in the face. but i didnt have the strength. ya lady, this is all in my head. I cant fucking swallow. or eat. or sleep. and I have two kids & a sick husband to take care of.
"are you sure you finished all the antibiotics?
-yes
"you know you have to take them all"
-yes, i know that
"ok, well, im going to have to do another culture to make sure its strep"
By the time I got them my throat was literally closing in on me again.


So, more steroids (which make me starving, but i cant really eat cause my throat hurst too fucking bad) yay!
and... the new antibiotics give me diarreah, and the norco makes me constipated. (thats IF I can manage to keep them down without barfing)
too much information? hehe.
you would think they would balance eachother out.. well.. they dont!!!


aaaahhhhhh!!!! seriously!!
im so sick of soup!!


Brandon & I passed out on the couch when Christian and Daniel were cooking.
=(
I want a re-do night!!!!

hmmm....

cool wedding photography name?

connor the conure

two days

my mom is feeling so much better... and getting some of her energy back. (she had lost a lot of blood after the surgery) .
So, im back to my two full day work week! (she watches avery two days a week).

aaaahhhhhh two full days to work.
omg. the things I can accomplish!

I am caught up on almost everything!!!!
album designs, emails, paperwork, holiday card orders, etc etc.

feeling much better now.

4 meetings in the next two days for wedding season 2011!
wowzers.

flashback friday

circa 2003
(oops.. i cute chloe out!)



i tossed and turned last night, about the reality of anna and jake and aden actually moving. yes, for reals this time. fucking oregon.
just far enough to where I wont really see them but once every couple years, if that.
first jeni, now anna and jake!
we have all grown up together in more ways than one. as friends, as parents. and our kids have grown up together. I look forward to all growing old together too! Ill miss them so much inbetween. cheers to old friends that are family!

baby chickies

My mom brought this picture over yesterday to show me!!
I loved those chickies soooo much!
my dad built that sandbox.
=)
Dude, avery looks just like me!

ive been busy

Taking pics
going on field trips
cleaning
laundry
stuff
other cool stuff.
booking the crap out of next year for weddings.
Ill be rejuvinated again by then.
my next venture..
a tiny petting zoo at my parents house.
how fun would that be??
ya, and im not joking.
Stop by, grab some eggs & beer while your kids hang out with some animals.
pure genius i tell ya.

june xmas list

tree

Connor is diggin the xmas tree.

my reina roo

New blog here.

saweeeet ride.

Funny thing. We spend our teenage years hearing " don't smoke. Dont drink." & now we r he ones Saying to eachother " cut em off ". & " don't let the kids see them smoking!"
It's just so ironic :)

i am thankfull for

so many things.

but . the biggest thing.

knowing.. that no matter what. no matter where.

no matter how. i will be surrounded by real love.

I am so grateful for my husband and my babies.

This beautiful family we have created together, fills me up with so much love..

fills the brims of my eyes with tears when i think too hard about them...

fills me.. makes me whole. nothing else in the whole world matters more than them.

nothing.

and i am beyond thankful for this life together.

our first real family photo!

that explains it!

No wonder I couldnt keep my eyes open all week.

tired all week. fever thurs and friday, & and it hit me full swing yesterday... strep throat!!

yuck. i have never had a sore throat this bad.

I got a shot of steroids to stop throat from swelling completely shut. some norco & antibiotics .. should be feeling better and less crabby soon.

=)

i was hoping to come on here and post some pictures for people and meet my sunday deadlines. but my eyes are literally burning looking at this damn screen.

ok off to bed again.

wow

i just slept for almsot 12 hours straight.

I think i needed that.

and the heater is working this morning!! yay!!

(its hit or miss)

please remind me to remember this quote

when it comes to avery.. help me to recite this over and over again in my head.

its such good advice. ask my parents. they still think im crazy. and they did all they could.

“How true Daddy’s words were when he said: ‘All children must look after their own upbringing.’ Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person’s character lies in their own hands.”

Anne Frank

style me pretty

i accomplished a goal i set out to do a year or two ago.

to get published on a major wedding blog .

I finally submitted a wedding to my favorite blog, Style Me Pretty.

I sent in some pictures i thought somewhat worthy. It was a long shot!

It got published today. it felt SO good.

I did it! Im a wedding photographer!

ok.. can i quit now??

I feel like time is just slipping away.. and for what?

to be a photographer? to make money? to live in a nice house (that I cant afford to fix, decorate or landscape the way i want?) ?

I sat on the computer all day today looking at peoples faces. pictures. families.

i rushed to make lunches, i rushed brushing baby fine hair, I rushed filling out field trip forms, I rushed and rushed and rushed all day long. juggling my day like a goddamned clown.

I rushed to get home to meet my deadlines.

i turned down a playdate with Averys first real friend.

I missed Juniper's friends play at the school last night.

My house is thrashed.

I havent made a home cooked meal in weeks.

I havent sat down to the dinner table with my family for days.

i "shushed" my children and my husband to listen to messages and return calls.

these all may seem like normal occurances in an everyday american household.

and thats all fine and dandy to your typical amerian..

but.. im not cool with this. ...

Yes, it was a good day, but .. something is missing.

Something.. something...

Il keep looking till i find it.. trust me.

jake

Jake turned 3o today. Ive know him for 18 years now. wow! shit i love you man!

happy 30th! cheers to many many more wonderful years to come! I am so lucky and blessed to have you in my life. I love ingrid for birthing you and bringing you into all our lives. And i thank the heavens for placing you in all 5 out of 6 classes in 6th grade. talk about destiny. oh where would i be without you if you werent born? I love the journey our lives have taken us on, and I wish the best upon your new journey and hope it brings us back together in the end, just as it always does,. And we will find ourselves on some old porch sippin lemonade and riding horses together again...just like it all began. tails and tails 2.

Happy birthday my friend. I love you!

Like I'm not at the sunshine on a Monday night playing shuffleboard

their first trophies!

so pumped!

i love coming home

uncle daniel to the rescue!

with the nexxt couple days being furlough and holidays from school, i have a million portraits.

Who better to watch my children than their uncle daniel!?

aaaaahhh what would I do without him! i am so blessed to have him in my life for far too many reasons to count.

#1 ALWAYS being there for me.

Man, the whole fam was up at 5:30. I dont acclimate well to time changes. haha! im still going to bed super early and waking up super early.

I feel like its already lunch time & all i can think about is taco bell. taco bell. taco bell.

came across a drawer full of utica pics the other day. i cant wait to go back this year!!!!! its been way too long!
OH and I am also planning on going on a backpacking trip in big sur to the hot springs. something ive had on my list for a long time! And.. now its finally in the works.. thanks to tara! i mentioned soething about a girls backpacking trip to the springs, and next thing i know.. theres a bunch of links in my inbox about the hike. I love girls who arent pussys. whooohoooo. its on ! and ive been feeling like a big lazy pussy these days, so im really ready for a hike & an adventure this spring.

yuck

humans arent meant to sit at computers all day.

and children are not meant to watch tv all day.

blah.

land

since its virtually illegal to build or put anything on my parents property, our only option would be to live in another miniscule trailer that we would have to hide. that we could easily pay off in about a year or 2.

If i was living in a trailer i could go to my brothers wedding in costa rica next year, I could go on the girls trip to mexico next year.

I could fly out and see my best friend in South Dakota.

I wouldnt have to work every weekend and miss my kids soccer games or my friends bday parties and BBQ's. I mean.. these things are the most important to me.

i think more important that making money and living in a nice house.

CONS

lets see...

500 square feet could be the end of us.

then again, if i can do it with two babies who were waking eachother up all night with every peep and every step we took for three years, i think maybe it would be different now.

"shush! go back to sleep!" haha!

And, they would have 17 acres of land to frolic on. who cares how small your house is. go outside!!!

horses to ride, babies goats and kittens to birth.

vegetables to grow.

tadpoles to catch.

muddy feet.

motorcycles to ride.

campouts on top of the hill with their friends.

kite flying out your front door.

rocket launching without neighbors fences to eat them.

forts to build.

no busy street.

no neighbors. no lawn movers or leaf blowers or garbage trucks.

oh, and lets not forget baba and papa's pool just a walk away.

I could go on a vacation with my family. Just the four of us. on a vacation. aaah i dream of this day. And, i dont see it happening for a long time as long as we are here.

However, i LOVE it here. i love it. dont get me wrong.

But, home is where your heart is, and I think I left a piece of it out there.

This weekend = 10 portrait sessions . 2 soccer games. Two birthday parties & a whole lotta coffee

today

my husband walked through the door, cupped my face in his hands , kissed me, stared into my eyes, and said i love you, i am so lucky to have you. And his eyes got all watery. "I love you so much, im going to cry"

I was like.. what!? Im the lucky YOU! i love YOU so much!

today, my son had his very first real playdate ever. and it went great!

today, I went to the hospital to visit anna after a sucessful back surgery. yay!

i also,

ate leftover chinese food, had a good portrait session, stopped to look into the sky at the beautiful clouds, appreciated the weather, mailed my best friend a letter (like, a real letter, stamp and all!) and read a pile of books to my kids.

today was a good day. busy, but good. And I reminded myself all day about how lucky I am. and how everything works itself out.

and.. the end to a beautiful day.. kitten in bed with babies. this, is all that matters right now. these fleeting moments.

im going to buy this

HOUSE

heheeee

and, i got the piece of glass out of my foot! yay!!

feeling much better now.

ouch

i have a shard of glass stuck in my heel and i cant get it out.

between a rock and a hard spot

for the third time in the last two months ,i work all weekend and have no one to watch my kids. I can only ask so much of my friends.

Brandon already had to take sunday off, and now he is going to have to take saturday off.

but , he says there is no way he cando that this week. He says weird stuff is going on at work, and people are getting fired left and right. AND we are probably going to loose our health insurance.. oh yay!

And my mother in law is going to the cabin, again, so she cant help me with the kids. whats new?

and my mom is still not in the condition to watch my kids.

However, she is still saying she will. But she is not supposed to.

omg bless my mom, always trying to help people, even when she cant.

I am seriously on the verge of quitting my job and buying a trailer. or maybe ill move to oregon with the gonzalez paquette crew. hehe.

i cant do this on my own. or without my mom i should say. i wish i could just be home on the weekends and not worry about all this shit.

This house is not worth it to me anymore.

i just want to be with my family & have a roof over my head. i dont care how big it is.

=)

ps. anyone know a good babysitter that works weekends?

ya know..

..im related to this guy by blood , He was my great grandmother's (Otilia Garcia) brothers, son. Which, makes him my cousin of some sorts. too bad I dont have a shred of musical talent in me. My parents would never let me go to the concerts. I was "too young for that sort of show. maybe someday. Someday" =( boooooo

B

I will remarry you to this song someday my love.

dream

I still think about Handsome and Pepsi every time I go out there. They were both very good friends to me. Animals just dont live long enough I tell ya.

“i was a little girl
alone in my little world
who dreamed of a little home for me.
i played pretend between the trees,
fed my houseguests bark and leaves,
and laughed in my pretty bed of green.

i had a dream…that i could fly
from the highest tree.
i had a dream”.

music pairing: dream

I love halloween!!!!!!

happy birthday anna!!!

I LOVE YOU ANNA BANANNA!!!!

******SIGH

I feel like ive been holding my breath all week, and now i can finally relax. now that i know my mom is gonna be ok!

I have always wanted to make pumpkin pie from a real pumpkin.
so, brandon and the kids carved pumpkins and I roasted mine!



who says you need a rolling pin or a food processor! a cup and blender work just fine thank you very much.
Oh, and id like to thank my best friend daniel for always getting me pyrex when he sees it at the thrift store. hes the bestest.

The kids had the halloween parade at school today. too cute. cupcake fairy and yoshi

mom update

A few months ago my mom and I were hanging out at the bookstore, and one side of her went numb.
It was a minor stroke. and incredible warning. A blood clot had passed through a hole in her heart (birth defect) that she never knew existed.

This week the incredible doctors at UCSF patched the hole ! So crazy!! modern medicine is amazing.
They had said it might be too big to patch through the artery, and she might have to have open heart surgery. So, we are so happy it worked!!! and now she can stop taking Coumadin (insane blood thinner).

They will check in 6 months to make sure the tissue is growing over the "patch", but they said everything went great!
yayyyyyyy baba jules!!
Shes going to feel like a million bucks in a couple weeks with her heart working properly for the first time in her entire life!

celebrate good times! come on!

decisions decisions

The psychologist. the counselor. the pediatrician, all want to medicate him.

And, the teacher is not allowed to say so, but she has beaten around the bush about "options" in helping Avery.

After hanging out last night with three other rambunctious darling boys and a kindergarten teacher who was telling stories of her children punching and hitting eachother in the face,

i went to bed that night wondering if my kid really isnt all that bad.

What goes on in my mind...

"Yes, he is wild. WAY more wild than any kid in his class.. Yes, he colors outside the lines and scribbles his HW.. Yes he is the only one who cant sit still on the rug, but thats just who he is right? He can read better than all the other kids.. so what if he doesnt want to color in the goddamned pumpkin perfectly."

Whats going on in my mind 24 hours later...

"YOu cant survive in this world without conforming at least a little. He will be outcasted. Tossed under the rug by the teachers, We must do something! Hes going to get himself in trouble. He will be doing drugs to self shooth himself when he is a teenager.

He will never be able to get a decent job. he will never finish school. He will not be able to apply himself. It is our responsibility as parents to help him control himself. "

He doesnt hurt anyone. He is not malicious. he is loving and hyper and .. yes very defiant, (which drives us all INSANE) but..not mean.

I came across this article randomly... and it really made me think. (i think i just need to stop thinking so hard.)

Im bouncing back and forth between this whole ADHD thing. For a girl who cant even make a decision about what brand of tortillas to buy this week, determining the future of your child is big. like.. REAL big.

good night

I sat on my computer for two days straight and plowed through a wedding.

Last night, to celebrate my job well done, I sat down on the couch , watched the Baseball game with my honey, and ordered pizza.

it was the best night ever .

Wow. Made it through my youth without stepping foot inside the sunshine, & I've found myself there twice this week. What the he'll is happening here?!!

hole in heart

A surgery date has finally been set!

Next week my mom will be having the hole in her heart repaired! yay!!!

Its very scary, but I know she will be ok, and then on the road to recovery!

Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.

=)

the cutest thing....

Aden and fam showed up at the kids games with signs. how cute is that!? YOu should have seen Junipers face when she noticed aden on the sidelines. She lit up! and then started playing super awesome like. It was so cute. we are so lucky to have such wonderful friends in our life. too bad they all like to move out of state!!!!!!!

Speaking of playing super awesome, for the last couple weeks, juniper started playing like a pro. Thats what is so funny about her, and thats why I push her to play. Because when we are at home all she wants to do is play, and she is sooooo good, and then we get to practice or a game, and she shuts down. I know she loves it, she just gets so nervous. Well... she has finally warmed up to the team, and is playing soccer like a champ! wahoo!!!

Avery on the other hand, is loosing interest, and running a muck around the field with his shirt pulled up over his head half the time. Could my kids be any more different from eachother!! holy hell.

I am happy to say wedding season is officially over, and I will be at each and every single game my kids play from here on out!! wahooo!!!!!!! which, in turn.. leaves my sundays crammed. and i mean CRAMMED with portraits. Bring it! Im ready for some holiday portraits people!

do you know how hard it is to get avery to look at the camera for like one second!!!?! damn near impossible.

photo biz

Shawnee and I are becoming partners in crime....gonna blow these brides away with our mad skills, and adding a photo booth to the package is just the beginning!!!! booyaaaah baby.

recent random goodness

shish ka bobs by june

i LOVE his smile
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Sf cheers

love

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friends

homemade ethiopian

lainies batchelorette cake. heheeeeee

making beer

uncle ladybug

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dork

dork #2