i dont know what to believe.

I have written many many posts venting about my son's transitioning into Kindergarten. I usually dont post them. Its usually just me freaking out about how much of a failure I feel like. When, in reality, i am doing all I can. I am learning to embrace all this, and take it for what its worth. Im learning to come to grips with the fact that he is indeed very different from the other kids.

We have been struggling for a long time now with Avery at school, and , well.. in general.

He got sent to the principals office for the second time today.

I dont know what im going to do with this kid. it freaks me out. This situation has been a major stressor in our home. And the journey has just begun.

About 6 months ago, his therapist diagnosed him with ADHD and Oppositional Defiant Disorder

Here is one of my previous posts.


"After countless attempts to restore the order we once knew in our lives, and with no success, we decided it was time for avery (or more for us) to see a counselor.

Ok, now i dont even know if i believe in therapy and all the crap. but.. literally, as a last resort.I was out of ideas. out of strength, and on the verge of tears at the end of every day. These damn books and charts are just not working.. so.. we went.. in search of better tools to help cope with our "spirited child"

I got a referral from a phsychologist friend. And, we waited to "get in" with this chick.
We liked her . she seemed very experienced & knowledgable.

After "getting to know" (i mean, how can you really get to know someone in such short periods of time), our son was diagnosed with having Oppositional defiant disorder & ADHD.

Ok, now.. I was like.. what the fuck!?
After my response, she suggested I get counseling to deal with this reality.

Now, I went there for a reason. I went there, because he wasnt "growing out" of this behavior, and i went there to get answers, and then i didnt want to hear them. maybe i have O.D.D. haha!!

So, we didnt go back. I didnt even know if i believed in that crap. I didnt know what i was looking for. I just knew I was looking. desperately looking. I wanted answers handed to me on a silver platter damnit!. I wanted an "Avery instruction Manual".

fast forward a few months,

Its week two at school, and Avery's teacher suggests he see the school counselor, and that she feels like Avery is showing signs of a possible attention disorder... because he cannot sit still, he cannot keep his hands to himself, and he is very impulsive(hitting, spitting, etc). "He has such a big heart, and he literally cannot control these things he is doing" she said. But, he is extremely smart, & tested above and beyond academically (oh, thank god, at least thats something good!! shit!!)

I was .. like.. WTF??! is going on here. is this real? is this my answer? and what do i do ? and is there even anything to do?
I want him to have friends. I dont want to have the bad kid in class! I want his life to be full and happy! i want him to be NORMAL!!!!!! i dont even know what to think. im just gonna let this whole thing play out. I do not want to medicate my child. "