happy birthday anna!!!

I LOVE YOU ANNA BANANNA!!!!

******SIGH

I feel like ive been holding my breath all week, and now i can finally relax. now that i know my mom is gonna be ok!

I have always wanted to make pumpkin pie from a real pumpkin.
so, brandon and the kids carved pumpkins and I roasted mine!



who says you need a rolling pin or a food processor! a cup and blender work just fine thank you very much.
Oh, and id like to thank my best friend daniel for always getting me pyrex when he sees it at the thrift store. hes the bestest.

The kids had the halloween parade at school today. too cute. cupcake fairy and yoshi

mom update

A few months ago my mom and I were hanging out at the bookstore, and one side of her went numb.
It was a minor stroke. and incredible warning. A blood clot had passed through a hole in her heart (birth defect) that she never knew existed.

This week the incredible doctors at UCSF patched the hole ! So crazy!! modern medicine is amazing.
They had said it might be too big to patch through the artery, and she might have to have open heart surgery. So, we are so happy it worked!!! and now she can stop taking Coumadin (insane blood thinner).

They will check in 6 months to make sure the tissue is growing over the "patch", but they said everything went great!
yayyyyyyy baba jules!!
Shes going to feel like a million bucks in a couple weeks with her heart working properly for the first time in her entire life!

celebrate good times! come on!

decisions decisions

The psychologist. the counselor. the pediatrician, all want to medicate him.

And, the teacher is not allowed to say so, but she has beaten around the bush about "options" in helping Avery.

After hanging out last night with three other rambunctious darling boys and a kindergarten teacher who was telling stories of her children punching and hitting eachother in the face,

i went to bed that night wondering if my kid really isnt all that bad.

What goes on in my mind...

"Yes, he is wild. WAY more wild than any kid in his class.. Yes, he colors outside the lines and scribbles his HW.. Yes he is the only one who cant sit still on the rug, but thats just who he is right? He can read better than all the other kids.. so what if he doesnt want to color in the goddamned pumpkin perfectly."

Whats going on in my mind 24 hours later...

"YOu cant survive in this world without conforming at least a little. He will be outcasted. Tossed under the rug by the teachers, We must do something! Hes going to get himself in trouble. He will be doing drugs to self shooth himself when he is a teenager.

He will never be able to get a decent job. he will never finish school. He will not be able to apply himself. It is our responsibility as parents to help him control himself. "

He doesnt hurt anyone. He is not malicious. he is loving and hyper and .. yes very defiant, (which drives us all INSANE) but..not mean.

I came across this article randomly... and it really made me think. (i think i just need to stop thinking so hard.)

Im bouncing back and forth between this whole ADHD thing. For a girl who cant even make a decision about what brand of tortillas to buy this week, determining the future of your child is big. like.. REAL big.

good night

I sat on my computer for two days straight and plowed through a wedding.

Last night, to celebrate my job well done, I sat down on the couch , watched the Baseball game with my honey, and ordered pizza.

it was the best night ever .

Wow. Made it through my youth without stepping foot inside the sunshine, & I've found myself there twice this week. What the he'll is happening here?!!

hole in heart

A surgery date has finally been set!

Next week my mom will be having the hole in her heart repaired! yay!!!

Its very scary, but I know she will be ok, and then on the road to recovery!

Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.

=)

the cutest thing....

Aden and fam showed up at the kids games with signs. how cute is that!? YOu should have seen Junipers face when she noticed aden on the sidelines. She lit up! and then started playing super awesome like. It was so cute. we are so lucky to have such wonderful friends in our life. too bad they all like to move out of state!!!!!!!

Speaking of playing super awesome, for the last couple weeks, juniper started playing like a pro. Thats what is so funny about her, and thats why I push her to play. Because when we are at home all she wants to do is play, and she is sooooo good, and then we get to practice or a game, and she shuts down. I know she loves it, she just gets so nervous. Well... she has finally warmed up to the team, and is playing soccer like a champ! wahoo!!!

Avery on the other hand, is loosing interest, and running a muck around the field with his shirt pulled up over his head half the time. Could my kids be any more different from eachother!! holy hell.

I am happy to say wedding season is officially over, and I will be at each and every single game my kids play from here on out!! wahooo!!!!!!! which, in turn.. leaves my sundays crammed. and i mean CRAMMED with portraits. Bring it! Im ready for some holiday portraits people!

do you know how hard it is to get avery to look at the camera for like one second!!!?! damn near impossible.

photo biz

Shawnee and I are becoming partners in crime....gonna blow these brides away with our mad skills, and adding a photo booth to the package is just the beginning!!!! booyaaaah baby.

recent random goodness

shish ka bobs by june

i LOVE his smile
my reina roooooooo

Sf cheers

love

pure awesomeness

friends

homemade ethiopian

lainies batchelorette cake. heheeeeee

making beer

uncle ladybug

pj day

rockstar

dork

dork #2

Things r a brewing

i think we need to go camping soon.

i dont know what to believe.

I have written many many posts venting about my son's transitioning into Kindergarten. I usually dont post them. Its usually just me freaking out about how much of a failure I feel like. When, in reality, i am doing all I can. I am learning to embrace all this, and take it for what its worth. Im learning to come to grips with the fact that he is indeed very different from the other kids.

We have been struggling for a long time now with Avery at school, and , well.. in general.

He got sent to the principals office for the second time today.

I dont know what im going to do with this kid. it freaks me out. This situation has been a major stressor in our home. And the journey has just begun.

About 6 months ago, his therapist diagnosed him with ADHD and Oppositional Defiant Disorder

Here is one of my previous posts.


"After countless attempts to restore the order we once knew in our lives, and with no success, we decided it was time for avery (or more for us) to see a counselor.

Ok, now i dont even know if i believe in therapy and all the crap. but.. literally, as a last resort.I was out of ideas. out of strength, and on the verge of tears at the end of every day. These damn books and charts are just not working.. so.. we went.. in search of better tools to help cope with our "spirited child"

I got a referral from a phsychologist friend. And, we waited to "get in" with this chick.
We liked her . she seemed very experienced & knowledgable.

After "getting to know" (i mean, how can you really get to know someone in such short periods of time), our son was diagnosed with having Oppositional defiant disorder & ADHD.

Ok, now.. I was like.. what the fuck!?
After my response, she suggested I get counseling to deal with this reality.

Now, I went there for a reason. I went there, because he wasnt "growing out" of this behavior, and i went there to get answers, and then i didnt want to hear them. maybe i have O.D.D. haha!!

So, we didnt go back. I didnt even know if i believed in that crap. I didnt know what i was looking for. I just knew I was looking. desperately looking. I wanted answers handed to me on a silver platter damnit!. I wanted an "Avery instruction Manual".

fast forward a few months,

Its week two at school, and Avery's teacher suggests he see the school counselor, and that she feels like Avery is showing signs of a possible attention disorder... because he cannot sit still, he cannot keep his hands to himself, and he is very impulsive(hitting, spitting, etc). "He has such a big heart, and he literally cannot control these things he is doing" she said. But, he is extremely smart, & tested above and beyond academically (oh, thank god, at least thats something good!! shit!!)

I was .. like.. WTF??! is going on here. is this real? is this my answer? and what do i do ? and is there even anything to do?
I want him to have friends. I dont want to have the bad kid in class! I want his life to be full and happy! i want him to be NORMAL!!!!!! i dont even know what to think. im just gonna let this whole thing play out. I do not want to medicate my child. "

im in a rut

or maybe im just restless.
baby steps.


I want to make cheese and beer
and tend to chickens & sell their eggs
I want to use well water.
I want to pickle my own cucumbers & radishes.
put them in cute little jars and sell them by the roadside with cute little labels.
i dont want to shower everyday and look presentable.
I dont want to have neightbors
i dont want to take pictures of weddings with crazy brides.
i just dont feel like this is what im supposed to be doing with my life.
i miss the farm.

in one year I will set up my little stand on Tassajara road at rush hour.
it will be the first little baby step to living my dream to live simply.


in the meantime, Brandon will perfect his brew, and I will learn how to make cheese.
there are 17 acres out there just wasting away.
and when the time comes , i will get rid of my cell phone, computer, and TV.

call me crazy. everyone always has . hey! crazy people make shit happen! =)

happy birthday great gran!

congrats to lainie and jason! xoxoxo

Lainie and Jason's wedding was fabulous!! The setting was so cool... so them! Beautiful wooded atmosphere.. all outdoors, twinkle lights, good food , good drinks.. aaahhh!!!

And it was so so so fun to be IN a wedding instead of shooting one! It was the perfect day, and she looked SOOOOO amazing!! It was such an honor to be part of it all.

My mom was supposed to come get the kids, but she didnt feel well, so they ended up staying the entire evening, and it was actually pretty awesome. Cause they danced the night away!

They literally danced all night long. it was the best.

Im so sad its over.

booooo yah