dang!

so, heres where im at in life, at the moment. it changes from minute to minute, but as of right now..

ok, so.. im trying not to swear as much.

Im busy . too busy. so busy that im ready to quit everything and soak life in.

now that juniper is in school all day, i really want to make time for the slow times.

i want my kids to have memories of just playing in the yard & selling lemonade.

i dont want to be become one of these main stream crazy people that are polluting my beautiful p-town. .. alas.. its slowly snuck in. the dance classes, the work, the DANCE CLASS the everything!!!

but, hey.. its a different world. takes so much to survive these days. and for the first time ever, in my life, im making money. and its nice.

how to find the balance... argggggg

the balance between making money and making snowflake upon snowflake out of coffee filters with my kids at the kitchen table.

so, i have a new computer AND a new camera. thank god. its about time. my workload has doubled, and my computer was overwhelmed to say the least. i have cut time in half with this new bad boy. and my cameras were just plain worn out.

I have this strange weird thing where I feel like Im super proud of myself for creating a photography business from a old model canon rebel and a mac mini with multiple knockoff hard drives and the slowest internet on the block.

which brings me to my next point.. ive upgraded my internet. wow! to think i didnt even have my very own internet or cell phone just 4 years ago...and yes, thats how long weve been in this house... i wont even get into that realization. Four years!!?? where the hell did they go? and how did I accumulate so much shit.

We have , like, REAL digital tv now. not that i even ever watch tv, but.. its really cool to have On demand for cartoons at least. i dont know how to use it though. that remote is out of control.

i feel like i just joined the human race. ha ha!

where i was going with this.. i have no idea.

anyways.. i took an awesome little trip up to the mountains this weekend. oh man. i cant tell you how lovely that was. my first ever trip to the cabin without brandon or the kids. we hiked big trees, went wine tasting, made lots of cocktails, played games, dress up , dance party. all in good company of people full of love, that i LOVE. i returned feeling rejuvinated (trees just have that affect on me) and ready to rock. a little adult time with friends is good for the soul.

Which brings me to another point.,...

the struggle im having with loosing so many people close to me to far off places.

Jeni's gone, daniel has been gone, cassie is moving back to hawaii, reina is gone.

and now.. i get a text today from the only friend i have met through school, that i LOVE to death is moving back to washington with her three beautiful kiddos. boooohoooooooooo . there goes my freaking morning coffee park playdate buddy. =( im gonna miss them.

i know, life is so rough for me. but.. hey.. everythings relative ok!??

much love to all of you out there .. to whoever is reading this.

time for a big ol glass of wine and a nice cozy night on the couch with matching camp connel bear pajamas (thank you pammy.)

OH, and i forgot to mention that 80% of my energy is used up a day by my insane son. who is quite a character, but a handful (and.. thats putting it very nicely) . what can I say? he IS my son. =) haha!

Ok, back to waiting for the rain (they keep checking every 5 minutes!) and making leaf imprints on paper with "naked crayons" =)

=)

man... life is so good when you slow down to enjoy it.