i think the gloom is really getting to me. im ready for some sunshine. im yearning. im feining. im dying for some sunshine.
and as soon as the sun comes out.. the work will begin. boooooo.
ive loved just being with the kids, doing stuff without a worry on my mind.
but, whos really that spoiled? Im very well aware that I am lucky enough to have all this time with them.
although, somedays i want to just freak out!!! most days.... are just one beautiful miracle after another in their words, eyes, little hands in mine.
However, int he back on my mind i am contantly thinking ... "am i doing the right thing? am i living the life i want to? the life i want for my kids?" I wish i could be a farmer . live off the land somewhere, live in a huge treehouse in grass valley. grow an orchard somwhere, and Make olive oil. homeschool my kids.
Realistically, I know I would go nuts, and I always tell myself my kids would probably end up doing drugs and having sex by the time they were 12, andn that I would be depriving them of all these experiences. But.. deep down I dont think thats true. deep down I believe I should be somewhere else with my family.
Simpler times. I feel like, with every generation, simpler times are slipping farther and farther away. I just felt really old after i read that last line.
But... really... cant you see it? I can.
3 comments:
Oh Lori, sometimes I think I am the only one having these thoughts! Besides the homeschooling, ( that is not a strong suit for me), but I do think about living off the land as well. That's why I love "Little House on the Prairie". These are not stupid dreams! I love you and I SEE you! hehe
I think you are right but you are giving your children the best life you can.
dude. let's all move to indiana.
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