babies.

Avery will be 4 in a few weeks. The life that ive known for so long, in fact.. the only life i can remember, is finally winding down.. . Its like everything that ever happened before children is insignificant and millions of years away.
Our todllerhood years are over. For the first time in 6 years we no longer have a baby in the house,... as my youngest turns into a kid I can have a conversation with, as tantrums become fewer and farther between.
the Little man sure has a mind of his own, and now he can actually express it! Which, is helping wonders for my sanity!

Avery is my little cuddle lovey. , all hugs and kisses. will wrap his arms around you and cuddle you all night if he could . Juniper is getting older, starting to let go a bit. starting to think more about other things , not just mommy and daddy. And I just realized, wow.. pretty soon he will be junipers age, and wont be kissing random friends on the lips anymore, and holding hands with his buddies , walking around at the park, or running around naked without a care in the world., or saying silly things like . "I want to watch Harry Poppins". and "actually mommy, Im breally breally serious" .

And Yet, as these baby moments pass me by.. .i can no longer picture myself with a stroller and diaper bag and spit up on my clothes. a life that once consumed every part of my being physically and mentally has slowly dissapeared over night.
My primal yearning and longing for a big belly and baby on my boob is gone. completely. These feelings, or lack of, constantly surprise me. after juniper, i thought id have at least a couple more.
probably because juniper was a breeze of a toddler.

As the crazy neurotic role of motherhood (that i swore i would never become) sneaks up on me more and more each day, i try to enjoy it. live it. be it. The moments that slip away so fast. especially now that i know, this is it. no more babies.

Our days are filled with new adventures.. Juniper learning to read! . Avery making new friends, Juniper creating a life of her own. camping, bike riding, traveling to near and far places. , going out to eat at restaurants!

We asked juniper if she wanted to do the daddy daughter dance again this year. Her response
"hmm maybe this one last time"
Um... ok..
The things we once did for them, we are now hanging onto, and doing for ourselves. Once she found out she got to wear a cinderella costume for the dance, she was stoked. oh my. here we go. i just had to get a girly girl.