im building a person

i was never the kind of kid who dreamed about my wedding day and having kids...(funny right?)
But juniper is. she has her babies names picked out. "Lily and Daisy". and more interestingly, she is going to marry aden and live here with him in our house. LOL!

She knows that babies come from a sperm "little polly wog looking thing" and an egg. and she knows they come out of...well.. you know.. vaginas! this i had no problem explaining.


but...today she , is sitting there telling avery about babies. and asks
"But, HOW do you MAKE a baby mommy? by eating healthy food?"

i stopped stirring , looked over my shoulder at the table where she sat
"um...."

and then she asked me a different question. not sure what it was. and then another question. so...i didnt really answer.


but, now im thinking. shit..i better go to the library and pick out a good hippie kids sex book cause this ones gonna be a little harder to explain when she asks again.



Last month sometime she asked me

"what happens when you die?"
Seeing the look in her face. the fear of the unknown. I was tempted to revert to my childhood beliefs and tell her about catholicism...
..to soothe this uncertainty of 'life after death' I saw in her eyes. My first instinct was to protect her from fear. Protect her from the unknown.

But, I gave her a tiny version of what I believe...

"i dont know honey. but i think you can be whatever you want when you die.I want to be a bird and fly in the clouds all day"
She looks at me
"can i be a unicorn? with wings? and fly in the clouds with you"
"yes" i say.
and that was that.

The fear was gone.

i will never forget the day i woke up and thought "I think you just go into the earth and decompose" (being the nature obsessed kid that i was).
but Im not ready to take hope away from her yet.
Hey!...maybe you can be a rainbow unicorn pegasus in the afterlife! who knows!
ahhh the soothing effects thoughts of heaven has on the soul.



Sometimes its scary..the weight of a childs whole being in your hands...