finally there

i sat on the computer for almost two days straight going through wedding photos and portraits. they are starting to pile up on me. & i constantly feel in over my head, and guilty for being on the computer at night & on brandons days off.
However, we managed to escape from all the madness of home and get up to pinecrest for a couple nights with some of our best friends. which was absolutely awesome.
it was the first camping trip where i didnt worry about avery running away or grabbing sticks out of the fire... etc.
did i mention is was absolutely awesome?
We almost didnt go at first, being it has been an adult vacation for 6 years straight now , mainly i think because hardly any of them have kids. but i was still a bit aprehensive. i knew lainie would say "bring them!" no matter how she felt. thats just lainie.
i intended to keep our distance if too much craziness ensued.
little did i know i would have 10 gown up "kids" (my lovely friends) playing with june and avery the whole time. playing make believe games, teaching them about fishing, making smores sticks for them, and eating their billions of burnt smores just to appease them. aaahhh. it was beautiful. it made me so happy.
my kids are so lucky to have all these cool people in their lives. we are all so blessed.

&, after years and years of never giving in at bedtime, (even when camping) our diligence and patience has payed off. I put them in their sleeping bags, left the battery operated lantern hanging turned on, kissed them, hugged them, said "nite nite", zipped up the tent like it was a bedroom door and walked away.
not a peep. both nights. aaaaaaahhhhh. it feels good to finally be here.
with motherhood, there are small victories that are your only reward of all your hard work. it doesnt seem like much , but to me it is. because it hasnt been easy.

then , of course, we got drunk and crazy...my eyes never wandering too far from the lit up tent.
this being said, i still cant image starting over again. not now. not when were starting to have so much fun together as a family, (the only time i feel whole and perfect). we went on the party boat, went swimming, climbed giant rocks, went hiking, aaaahhhh... i want to go camping again!!!! pics coming soon.

ps. day 4 of no tv. going very well indeed.









here we go again...tying to figure out junipers weird blood test results..which came about in a routine iron test at age 1.
Formerly misdiagnosed as anemia At the clinic downtown,. after 6 months of iron supplements ,& no change in her hemoglobin levels...we went to childrens hospital in oakland.
Then, diagnosed as Thalassemia, then...after tubes and tubes of blood, this also has been ruled out. her hemoglobin levels are just wacked out. and her cell sizes seem to change for no reason.
viral they thought then, but no...
and still, i know nothing, and wont for a while, since we have to basically start all over with our new doctor in order to get a referral to the Hematologist.